Numb

I found out yesterday that my very dear friend Dori passed away unexpectedly this past Saturday.

She and I shared a unique friendship as she was someone I considered to be family, like a mom, like a sister, and someone that just got me.

I met Dori a few weeks after Dustin and I moved out to Day Mt. Spokane. And our friendship was pretty instantaneous. We spent countless hours on her porch swing sipping on iced tea or iced coffee whichever she had a craving for that morning, many nights playing 10,000, which earned me the nickname "bone dry" and her "dice bitch"(it is the only time that losing money was ever fun), many days out on the 4 wheelers riding through the countryside stopping for beer breaks, lunch (pbnj), to listen to fairy falls and to look at rocks that would be a cool adornment for her porch, and just countless hours "shooting the shit" I think she called it.

She and I understood eachother perfectly. Although I only had the pleasure of having Dori for 6 years of my life, we had the understanding for one another that would normally take a lifetime to figure out.

We joked that our souls were connected and that our knowing each other now, was only for this lifetime. But even in my belief that she and I will know eachother again it stills hurts that she is physically gone from my life.

Dori lived a private life in the country with a laundry list of animals over the years. Several of which have specially hand picked rocks marking there place under various trees. She always said that she would die in her beloved little house, and by god that is what she did.

After her dogs Char and Peekaboo died, she "vowed" not to have animals again because it was just too hard on her when they die. Then Lilly came into her life and stole her heart away. Without going into a whole long story about the two of them, I will just say that they were meant to find eachother. I always knew that someone like Dori, who had a heart so full of love for animals wouldn't be animaless for long.

She would count out her daily treats to Char and Peekaboo..."one, two, free". She always swore that Char would count to make sure she got the same number as Peekaboo, but she snuck in an extra piece on the third count for good measure. That was just how she was.

She kept a vase of flowers I gave her early in our friendship on the table she sat at everyday. I gave them to her Spanky had died. I picked some flowers and left them in a vase with a note on her porch just so she would know that I was thinking of her. It meant something to her, and it meant something to me after years of her keeping them close to her. It was a nice reminder of the little things that can mean so much to someone. I always say it is the little things in life that matter.

I will always remember her courageous decision to have weight loss surgery. She and I talked at great length about the pros and cons. She wasn't going to do it, then she was. When she finally did it, it was hard not to see her. She went through quite a bit physically following the surgery and struggled getting away from the house for any length of time. Several months had passed with just phone conversations and then I got to see her.

When she came out of the house to greet me, I sobbed and sobbed (like you see people do on TV...yeah that was me). I was so proud of her, she looked on the outside like the Dori she was on the inside again. She beamed with happiness and I shared in that happiness through my tears of joy as she hugged me tight.

Dori helped me through many life changes like finding myself again, through my divorce, through faling in love with Gabe, and through the trials and tribulations of getting pregnant. I will always regret that she wasn't able to hold Abigail in her arms.

I hear her voice and her laughter in my head and she will forever remain close to my heart. I know with time that hearing her in my mind will fade away, and that brings me grief. She had such a wonderful mischievious laugh.

She was beautiful, kind, courageous, loving, compassionate, and a tough as nails no non sense kind of wonderful woman. I feel grateful and honored that I had a chance to know and love her.

I will miss you always,
Your Kellygirl
@}~-----

You can't fly a kite unless you go against the wind and have a weight to keep it from turning a somersault. The same with man. No man will succeed unless he is ready to face and overcome difficulties and is prepared to assume responsibilities.
William J.H. Boetcker

Ch..Ch..Ch..Changes

The Strine world is full of change lately.

Gabe was laid off of work a few weeks ago and we are looking at this as the push needed for him to do his freelance graphic designing...full time. Which was the plan all along by the end of the year. It is scary, and financially trying, but I pray that it will work out for the best in the end.

Lay offs are also happening at my work. And for today, I still have a job, and I am thankful for that.

We decided to add Gabe onto my insurance...which is costing us $300 out of pocket every month. Our monthly budget has been cut by $2300! That is scary if you think about it. But thankfully while Gabe is seeking work, unemployment counts for $1000 - for now. SUPER SCARY.

We started and finished the nursery. Pictures and details will be posted soon.

We ripped out the main floor bathroom and have replaced the cabinets, sink, and faucet so far. The we will be puttin on our 4th coat of paint on tonight. The first two coats were St. Patrick's Day green, I kid you not. Gabe wanted something bold and I thought why not try it. But in the end having my eyes stop bleeding was more important that having a bold choice of wall color. The green was nixed last night and we coated the walls with primer in preparation for the stormy blue we will be painting later tonight. What can I say, blue matches everything if it is the right shade.

Dad and Gabe worked all day yesterday getting the new cabinets, the sink and the faucet installed. It was a nice surprise to come home to yesterday! What a huge difference that has made already.

SIDE NOTE:
While normally working on house projects is totally my thing at our house, I am limited with my pregnancy in doing things I would normally do, such as no heavy lifting, nothing strenuous, and an over protective dad to be. I will admit, I lack a certain patience with Gabe when it comes to working on projects, especially if they need to be done quickly.

I try really hard, but we think differently in that way. He is an artist,a dreamer, a creator, I am hands on, get dirty and get it done kind of gal. Most at home projects just make sense to me and come easily, but for him it is a longer process. Now add into the mix: pregnancy hormones, my feeling of uselessness and it can make for a nasty cocktail. We did pretty well working on the nursery, even though we had to stop to have several conversations about how we were not working as a team.

The good thing is we can recognize our differences, and we make an effort at communicating and trying to work with what we were given.

CONTINUED:
We have the flooring picked out, but need to finish painting first. The floor is next, then the toilet, the toe kicks and the moulding. We should easily be able to wrap this up this weekend. And then we take a break!! A nice long break sounds nice.

I will post pictures of both of our latest projects soon. Maybe next week after all is said and done project wise.

That is all for now folks. Stay tuned for another gripping episode of the Life of Strine's.

The latest on Abigail

We had another ultrasound on the 23rd. See?

I admit there has been some doctoring on my part. I really wanted to have a profile-ish picture and her hand was moving along her face, so I photoshopped it out. I am a bad mom.

I am happy to report that she clearly has a nose and lips i.e. a face. That is a relief. You may be asking "was that really something to be concerned about?" The answer is "yes". If you are me, "yes". I couldn't tell from the last ultrasound that she had a defined nose and set of lips, so of course, it made me wonder.

The GOOD news:
Abigail is right on target and is doing great. She is 1lb 12 oz. of activeness right now.

The BAD news:
The doctor has now classified my "condition" as placenta previa. Which means the chances of my placenta moving away from my cervix and allowing for a vaginal delivery are pretty slim. In other words, I will almost certainly have to have a c-section.

The GOOD news:
There is a slight chance that things could change. I still have a lot of growing left to do and another ultrasound in 4 weeks. Until we see no change again in a month, there is still hope.

The bottom line is that Abigail is healthy and my pregnancy is continuing to progress. That is what matters in the end.