Numb

I found out yesterday that my very dear friend Dori passed away unexpectedly this past Saturday.

She and I shared a unique friendship as she was someone I considered to be family, like a mom, like a sister, and someone that just got me.

I met Dori a few weeks after Dustin and I moved out to Day Mt. Spokane. And our friendship was pretty instantaneous. We spent countless hours on her porch swing sipping on iced tea or iced coffee whichever she had a craving for that morning, many nights playing 10,000, which earned me the nickname "bone dry" and her "dice bitch"(it is the only time that losing money was ever fun), many days out on the 4 wheelers riding through the countryside stopping for beer breaks, lunch (pbnj), to listen to fairy falls and to look at rocks that would be a cool adornment for her porch, and just countless hours "shooting the shit" I think she called it.

She and I understood eachother perfectly. Although I only had the pleasure of having Dori for 6 years of my life, we had the understanding for one another that would normally take a lifetime to figure out.

We joked that our souls were connected and that our knowing each other now, was only for this lifetime. But even in my belief that she and I will know eachother again it stills hurts that she is physically gone from my life.

Dori lived a private life in the country with a laundry list of animals over the years. Several of which have specially hand picked rocks marking there place under various trees. She always said that she would die in her beloved little house, and by god that is what she did.

After her dogs Char and Peekaboo died, she "vowed" not to have animals again because it was just too hard on her when they die. Then Lilly came into her life and stole her heart away. Without going into a whole long story about the two of them, I will just say that they were meant to find eachother. I always knew that someone like Dori, who had a heart so full of love for animals wouldn't be animaless for long.

She would count out her daily treats to Char and Peekaboo..."one, two, free". She always swore that Char would count to make sure she got the same number as Peekaboo, but she snuck in an extra piece on the third count for good measure. That was just how she was.

She kept a vase of flowers I gave her early in our friendship on the table she sat at everyday. I gave them to her Spanky had died. I picked some flowers and left them in a vase with a note on her porch just so she would know that I was thinking of her. It meant something to her, and it meant something to me after years of her keeping them close to her. It was a nice reminder of the little things that can mean so much to someone. I always say it is the little things in life that matter.

I will always remember her courageous decision to have weight loss surgery. She and I talked at great length about the pros and cons. She wasn't going to do it, then she was. When she finally did it, it was hard not to see her. She went through quite a bit physically following the surgery and struggled getting away from the house for any length of time. Several months had passed with just phone conversations and then I got to see her.

When she came out of the house to greet me, I sobbed and sobbed (like you see people do on TV...yeah that was me). I was so proud of her, she looked on the outside like the Dori she was on the inside again. She beamed with happiness and I shared in that happiness through my tears of joy as she hugged me tight.

Dori helped me through many life changes like finding myself again, through my divorce, through faling in love with Gabe, and through the trials and tribulations of getting pregnant. I will always regret that she wasn't able to hold Abigail in her arms.

I hear her voice and her laughter in my head and she will forever remain close to my heart. I know with time that hearing her in my mind will fade away, and that brings me grief. She had such a wonderful mischievious laugh.

She was beautiful, kind, courageous, loving, compassionate, and a tough as nails no non sense kind of wonderful woman. I feel grateful and honored that I had a chance to know and love her.

I will miss you always,
Your Kellygirl
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